So many parents reach out to me with concerns about contact naps.

Sometimes they are worried about long-term sleep independence.

Sometimes it’s more about sustainability.

Sometimes is just an overwhelming need to start moving away from all contact sleep.

Both my kids have been huge contact sleepers, so I know the struggle!

So many thoughts go through your head when you have a contact napper.

“Is it OK for my baby to nap on me, or am I creating a bad habit?”
“Will they ever sleep alone?”
“Why does my baby only nap in my arms?”
“I’m the only one whose baby can’t sleep in their crib!”

Leaning into contact naps feels like going against the mainstream. It’s easy to doubt yourself and question if it’s the right thing to do. If you have a contact napper, then read on to some of the most common questions I get about contact naps.

What is contact napping?

Contact napping involves your baby napping in close physical contact with you. It includes babywearing naps, napping in arms, and cosleeping naps.

4 benefits of contact naps for babies and parents

Contact naps benefit both babies and parents. Rather than only seeing them as something to change, seeing their positives can help with your mindset.

Contact naps often support more restful sleep for babies.
Contact napping regulates a babies physiology and helps them feel safe and secure.
For parents, contact naps are a great opportunity for connecting with their baby and to slow down to rest and relax.
If in a safe bedsharing location, a contact nap can even mean getting some extra sleep for you.

Are contact naps safe?

As with all sleep environments, contact naps are safe when done safely.

For holding baby, babywearing, or chest sleeping, the parent or caregiver should be awake and able to monitor baby. If you want to get some rest as well, you need to follow safe bedsharing guidelines.

For more, check out my podcast episode on How to Bedshare Safely.

Are contact naps bad? Am I creating a bad habit by letting my baby sleep on me?

No! Contact naps are a healthy, nurturing sleep habit! They are a great tool! It’s the biological norm for your little one to want to stay close, and to sleep better in contact with you.

Humans are carry mammals, and our babies expect contact sleep. Contact naps create the perfect sleep environment for your baby. The closeness of your body, heartbeat, breathing, smell, and touch all soothe your baby and regulate their physiology. While our culture highly values independent sleep, from our baby’s perspective there’s no real advantage.

I feel like I should be productive. How do you get stuff done when your baby is a contact napper?

First of all, nurturing your little one is being productive! Nurturing is hard and valuable work, even if it’s under appreciated in our culture. With that said, a few tips:

Try not to put everything off until sleep time. If we reframe the nap as down time for us as parents and not productivity time, you can think about doing household chores at other times.
Babywear, either for the nap so that you can move around or while baby is awake to get stuff done.
Set baby up in a safe place to play while you get a few things done.
If your little one is a toddler, include them in household tasks in an age-appropriate way. It won’t be efficient, but it will be good learning for them.

How can I feel less nap trapped with lots of contact naps?

Preparation is key. Before it’s naptime, make sure your immediate needs are met. Get a snack, a drink of water, and use the bathroom. Make sure you have a charger for your phone. There’s nothing more frustrating the a mid-nap need to pee or your phone dying. “Do I end the nap or wait it out….?!”

Take this as a time to relax and snuggle your little one. Set up for the nap somewhere comfortable for you. Make sure you have something to read, listen to, or watch. A lot can actually get done while your little one naps on you if you prepare intentionally.

I feel like I’m stuck under a baby all the time! What can I do?

Contact naps come in many forms. See if your little one will nap in a wrap or sling. A babywearing nap allows for movement, and many times you can take a walk to get out of the house. You can also see if your little one will except the stroller as a contact nap substitute. Many babies will.

You can also lay down with your child in a safe bed sharing set up. It may be easier to shift away once they are asleep. You may still need to stay close, but you are more likely to get some breathing room.

I’m the only one whose baby won’t sleep in their crib! What can I do?

Not all babies do well with crib naps. First there’s the transfer if they fall asleep in your arms. Or there’s the struggle to get them to settle in the crib, often nearly impossible for many babies.

Your child’s temperament, age, developmental stage is all going to affect how easy independent sleep come to them. While there are tricks to try, there’s also the flipside of managing your mindset. Try reminding yourself of some of these points:

Not all babies sleep well in their crib.
Not all babies sleep long independently.
Many babies and toddlers sleep better in contact with a caring adult.
Contact sleep is not bad sleep.
You are not judged by your productivity.
You will not hurt your child’s long-term sleep independence by leaning into contact naps.

Acceptance of your child’s needs and where they are at now can really shift your view on contact napping. You are your child’s safe space. I’m not saying that you can’t stop contact naps, but to view it as a journey. To view contact naps as a tool. To avoid projecting too far into the future and send yourself down the spiral of they’ll never sleep on their own!

Stay in the present. Parent with the tools that work now.

When do babies outgrow contact naps?

Little’s grow out of the need for contact naps at vary different ages. Most newborns and young babies thrive with contact naps. Many older babies and toddlers still sleep better and longer with contact napping. There’s a wide range of normal, and your child’s temperament plays a huge role in their readiness for independent naps.

How do I stop contact naps?

There are many reasons why you may want or need to move away from contact naps. Your little one’s age and temperament will affect how easy or hard the process is.

Stopping contact naps is generally a gradual process with small steps over time as your baby gets more comfortable. A safe bedsharing set up like I mentioned above, often as a floor bed, is one great way to start the process.

You’ll also want to start with the easiest nap first while still supporting contact naps at other times. Make sure your little one is really ready for a nap. It’s hard enough to get an under or over tired kid to sleep. If you are changing their favorite environment, it’s going to be so much more of a struggle.

Are contact naps ok? A parent story

I work with a lot of families who have contact napping babies and toddlers. Part of supporting sleep holistically is normalizing contact naps while also sharing responsive strategies for making changes. For my client Lindsey, her anxiety around contact naps and sleep more broadly was much more of a struggle than the actual contact naps. She reflected on her contact sleep anxiety in this way…

“As a first-time mom with post-partum anxiety, I was completely overwhelmed by social media advice about baby sleep while dealing with my own sleep deprivation. After starting 1-to-1 support with Kim, I learned that contact naps are in fact OK (and actually very beneficial!) and so much more about a responsive approach to infant sleep that aligned with my own parenting beliefs. With Kim’s guidance, we were able to transition from the bassinet to the crib, develop a bedtime routine and drop naps successfully.”

- Lindsey, mom of an older baby

For Lindsey, knowing that contact naps were developmentally normal helped her lean in to contact naps, allowing her daughter to get better naps and in turn support better nighttime sleep. The confidence to support what her daughter needed made a big difference in their sleep journey.

What’s the takeaway?

Contact naps are healthy and normal. If they work and you enjoy them, they are a great tool. You can do all naps as contact naps or just some of them. You can work on changing where your child naps, but keep in mind your child’s age and temperament for realistic expectations of the process.

And most of all, enjoy the snuggles!

Whether you are looking to build confidence with contact naps or ready for guidance on the transition away from contact napping, I’m here to help.

Check out more about how I support families here or schedule a call to see if my support is a good fit!

Let's Talk Contact Naps!