When you think you are ready for night weaning: 8 things to consider

You are tired. Your little one feeds a lot over night. You aren’t sure if nighttime nursing is a help or making sleep worse. You think you might be ready for night weaning, but you’re not sure if it’s the right thing to do.

There are so many questions about night weaning, an also a lot of false promises around the decision when its entirely parent led. If you are considering night weaning, read on for some things to consider so that you can make the best decision for your situation.

How do I know if my child feeding at night is normal?

Night feeds are healthy, common, and normal at least through 18 months. Many nursing toddlers continue to feed at night well beyond then. As long as it’s working for you there’s no reason to worry about it or change things. Practice good teeth brushing with your toddler before bedtime to get solid food off the teeth and you’ll be good to go.

Some people never actively night wean, and night feeds organically phase out. This isn’t something every family wants or can do, and that’s ok.

So, what if feeding at night is not working for my family and child?

Age, temperament, and your goals for night weaning are all important to consider.

How old is your baby?

In the first-year human milk or formula is the main source of calories. Because of this, and because the research shows the majority of babies need at least one night feed, I’m not comfortable recommending parent led night weaning under a year. Cutting out feeds too soon can risk decreased supply, early weaning and weight gain issues. If you have one of those babies that naturally cuts out feeds on their own, then that’s a different story. If you have a super frequent nurser, you might want to reduce nighttime feeds without totally stopping them.

Toddlers and readiness for night weaning

For babies over a year, it’s important to look at their attachment to nighttime feeds and how easily they are soothed by other tools. Most gentle parenting and lactation professionals recommend waiting until at least around 18 months for parent led night weaning because of the increased language capability that you’re little one has. When they can understand you better, you have more ways of preparing them and supporting them through the process.

Can you night wean gently earlier than 18 months?

That’s going to depend a lot on your toddler’s personality and receptive language. I’ve known people to do it. It also has the potential to be more stressful. This can be true about toddlers over 18 months as well. There’s no magical time that every child is ready for a gentle night weaning process.

Will night weaning help my toddler sleep through the night?

The relationship between waking and feeding is complex. We are often told it’s as simple as stop feeding them and they’ll sleep through the night. This is an over-simplification based on sleep training ideas. While there is research showing a link between feeding to sleep, feeding back to sleep, and increased waking, this does not mean it’s causal. As in, the baby/toddler is waking because of feeding to sleep. It could simply be that the parents of babies who wake more are more often to feed back to sleep because it works and gets everyone better rest. I think it’s also important to point out here that I’ve known many babies and toddlers who nursed to sleep and sleep really well, and I’ve known babies who do not feed to sleep and wake frequently. I’ve also known people who have supported their little one to fall asleep with less support at bedtime, and that’s had a positive impact overnight.  

For some children, night weaning is a useful step in consolidating sleep.

Sleep may improve quickly, or night weaning may be a step in a slower process of lengthening sleep stretches. For other children, night weaning just gets rid of your best tool for resettling overnight. Unfortunately, our children don’t come labeled for which way night weaning will go.

Because feeding is both food and emotional connection, reflecting on your motivations, goals, and feelings around night weaning will help you know if it’s the right step for your family. Once you know you want to night wean, then you can come up with a plan.

Reflection questions when deciding to night wean or not:

1.       How do I feel about nighttime nursing? Are there positives? Are their negatives?

2.       Why do I want to stop? Is it coming from me or am I feeling outside pressure?

3.       How ready is my little one? How ready am I to emotion coach them through the process?

4.       Do I want to stop feeding to sleep at bedtime or only overnight? Or do I just want to reduce the amount of nighttime nursing?

5.       Am I resenting night feeds and does that show up in how I respond to my child?

6.       How would I feel if we night weaned, and sleep didn’t quickly improve?

7.       What kind of timeline am I hoping for?

8.       Do we have other soothing tools and a plan to move forward in a gentle way?

Your answers to these questions will help you understand your and your little one’s readiness for night weaning. There are lots of gentle ways to test the waters if you are still on the fence. The best guide is going to be your own intuition and your child’s responses.  

If you’d like help designing a night weaning plan and the support to implement it, reach out. I’d love to help you with this stage of your sleep and feeding journey.