Split nights: what they are and how to handle them

There’s nothing worse than a little one awake for hours in the middle of the night! You want to sleep, and they are ready to party. While this is normal for babies in the first months before they develop a circadian rhythm, it can also be a common struggle for some older babies and toddlers. Long awake periods in the middle of the night are often referred to as split nights.

What are split nights?

They differ from typical wakes when you feed or comfort your little one back to sleep after a relatively brief wake up. Split night wake-ups are often 1-3 hours. Your child is wide awake, alert, playful, and social. You on the other hand may be quite cranky! The most common age range for split nights is between 8 and 24 months.

If your child is awake for a long time with discomfort, don’t consider it a split night. Take it as a sign there’s something else going on and try to find the underlying cause of it!

 Split nights are a normal, healthy sleeping pattern.

For context, it’s important to know that split nights are a normal, healthy sleeping pattern. Throughout human history, many people slept in segmented, biphasic sleep patterns. Historical references suggest that adults used to sleep in 2 chunks with an awake period of several hours in the middle of the night. The current sleep pattern of one long sleep stretch emerged from improved lighting and the industrial revolution. While 1 consolidated night of sleep is now culturally expected, that does not make it the only healthy way to sleep.

So, take a deep breath – split nights are not unhealthy for your child!

However, most parents don’t have the scheduling flexibility to accommodate a split night sleeping schedule, especially since your child’s split night typically means that you have a split night as well. Normal and healthy can still be unsustainable given modern scheduling demands on parents.

Causes of split nights

Split nights can have a lot of causes, and the cause will affect your best tools for eliminating them.

Split nights can be developmental.

Split nights are common around times of big developmental progress. When a baby or toddler is working on a new skill like crawling, pulling up, walking, or talking, their brains are extra busy processing the new skill. This can lead to middle of the night practice sessions and an alert, playful kiddo. If your child is also moving through a shift in their nap needs at the same time, you can end up with really messy sleep timings overall contributing to the developmental impact on split nights.

If you think development may be the cause of your split nights, time will usually resolve the issue. In the meantime, include lots of practice with their new skill through play to help them master it. Once the newness wears off and they master the skill, sleep will settle back down.

Your child may be getting too much daytime sleep.

Children only need a certain amount of sleep in 24 hours. If they are having long naps and a lot of daytime sleep, it’s possible this is contributing to your split nights. Capping naps to lower their daytime sleep can allow for more sleep pressure to build. This can help create a more consolidated nighttime.

Your child’s bedtime may be too early.

We are culturally obsessed with early bedtimes in the US, and this isn’t always helpful for your little one’s sleep. Too early of a bedtime can mean your child isn’t having the chance to build up enough sleep pressure to sustain their nighttime sleep. If your split night wakes are closer to morning, it’s possible your little one has slept most of the sleep they need, making it difficult to fall back asleep when they fully wake at 3am or 4am. Try shifting your child’s bedtime later to see if it helps. This may mean shifting nap timings as well.

You may be expecting too much nighttime sleep.

If you are aiming for more nighttime sleep than your child needs, they may end up with split nights. Most older babies and toddlers only need 10-11 hours of overnight sleep. If you are trying hard for 12 hours, your child may end up with a split night due to too much sleep opportunity. Gradually shortening their nighttime is a helpful tool in this situation.

You may be offering your child too much total sleep in 24 hours.

Just like too much daytime and overnight sleep separately can cause split nights, too much sleep over 24 hours can lead to split nights. This is especially true for low sleep needs littles. Reevaluating your child’s true sleep needs will help you set up a rhythm that better matches those needs. In this situation, you may need to cap naps and also gently shorten their nighttime until you are in a rhythm where they are in a better sleeping pattern.

How to get out of a split night pattern?

Sleep timings.

One of the key factors in resetting a sleep pattern is a precise focus on sleep timings. You can’t let your child make up sleep by sleeping in or having an extra long nap. For a one-off split night or bad night of sleep those are great ideas. For a regular pattern of split nights, allowing them to make up sleep elsewhere simply perpetuates the split night.

Have a set wake up time in the morning. Don’t let naps go unusually long. If you are doing these things and split nights continue, consider that they actually need less sleep and more sleep pressure to return to a more typical overnight wake pattern.

Your response.

Some children tend towards a split night if they become fully awake. Sometimes a prompt response to feed, snuggle, or change a wet diaper can help them stay in a lower, sleepy state rather than bring their energy up to fully awake. For some littles who wake at the same time for their split night, going in shortly ahead of that time to do a dream feed or offer a quick snuggle can reset the sleep cycle, helping to shift the pattern.

Your mindset.

Split nights suck! I’m just going to say it. Because of this, your mindset can really make a difference in how you move through them. Remember your child isn’t purposely keeping you awake to torture you. They genuinely are not able to settle back to sleep. Try laying down while they play so you can rest some. If you have a partner, try swapping half way through the awake period or alternating nights. Additionally, having a few tools to help you reset your frustration can make a huge difference.

Getting help with split nights

If you are struggling with split nights and would like guidance working towards a better sleep pattern, reach out. Let’s talk!