How Do You Know the Right Bedtime for Your Baby or Toddler?

There is no universal ideal bedtime, but there is likely an optimal bedtime for your little in their current phase.

I’m sure you’ve heard all sorts of things along the line of your baby needs to go to sleep at 7pm or 8pm or any random time with a semi-believable scientific sounding explanation.

The truth is these are all made up!

Bedtimes are completely cultural, and in fact they vary widely around the world. One cross-cultural study of bedtimes found an almost 3 hour difference between the average bedtime in the earliest to sleep countries and the latest to sleep countries (Mindell et al., 2010). Hint, the US and many other western countries are on the early side of things. In fact, we are so obsessed with early bedtimes that parents often feel like they are doing something wrong if their child has a later bedtime.

Many different factors affect when your child should go to bed. Bedtime depends on the time your little one needs to be up in the morning, their sleep needs, naps, your families rhythms, and their own personal circadian rhythm…. Plus, whatever cultural expectations shape your expectations.

There’s no universal time melatonin is released, or your child must be asleep to have a good night of sleep.

So how do you know when bedtime should be? Let’s dig into these different factors in a bit more detail.

What time does your child need to get up in the morning?

If you have a set morning wake time affected by work/daycare, you’ll need to pick a bedtime that allows them to get enough overnight sleep.

How much nighttime sleep do they need?

Some babies need more or less nighttime sleep, and that will influence bedtime if you have external factors influencing your morning wake time. A baby who needs 10 hours of overnight sleep and needs to be up around 7am will have a very different bedtime from a baby who needs 11 hours and needs to be awake by 6am.

How long has it been since waking up from their last nap?

Your baby needs enough time to build sleep pressure ahead of bedtime. The time they wake from their last nap and how long they generally stay awake before getting tired will impact bedtime.

What works for your family?

Your family’s daily rhythms and cultural expectations will come into play here. Bedtime needs to work for your family, or you will always be struggling with it. For example, If you get home from work and daycare pick up late, an early bedtime is not very practical.

Does your baby have any strong circadian tendencies?

Some babies simply do better with an earlier or later bedtime, regardless of how their naps play out. If you can work with their preference, your sleep will feel easier. My son was a later to bed baby and my daughter an earlier to bed baby. Their tendencies were strong and clear.

Not all babies and toddlers are like that. For some little’s, it’s more about sleep pressure, and how long they’ve been awake versus a clear bedtime tendency.

The best bedtime for your baby or toddler will vary over time. Their sleep needs will change. Their nap rhythms will change. While a roughly regular bedtime is a good thing, it’s also something that needs some flexibility to meet your child where they are at in this phase.

If you want help with your bedtime, sleep timings, or anything else sleep related, then let’s talk!