Feeding to sleep is developmentally normal and healthy, and yet a quick google search will bring up hundreds, maybe thousands, of articles strongly advocating the exact opposite. So why is this? It’s cultural.

The history of feeding to sleep advice

The routes of this popular piece of sleep advice are found in the history of sleep training. A long time ago, in 1894, Dr. Luther Emmett Holt published The Care of Feeding and Children in which he asserted that night feeds were the cause of night wakings. Almost 100 years later, Ferber echoed these sentiments when he advocated to break the feeding sleep link. How did these 2 physicians know this to be true? Well, they didn’t. They were sharing their beliefs packaged as fact. Beliefs that were able to be spread because their profession gave them cultural authority. The belief that feeding to sleep as well as overnight feeds are bad habits is still strong today in spite of the fact it was never based on research, sleep science, or developmental norms.

Read more on the history of sleep training.

Feeding to sleep is a healthy sleep habit

As a parent, you’ve probably heard a lot of comments along the lines of feeding to sleep is a bad habit. It’s probably been accompanied with some sort of warning like if you nurse to sleep, your baby will always want to nurse to sleep, or they’ll never let anyone else put them to sleep or that nursing to sleep is the reason they are still waking.

There are so many false claims about feeding to sleep, but the reality is that it is a normal behavior. Let’s replace the misconceptions with some facts!

1.       Feeding to sleep is often the easiest and fastest way to support a little one to sleep. In the early weeks and months, trying to avoid feeding to sleep can cause a lot of unnecessary stress and make responsive feeding a challenge. It’s natural and healthy for your little baby to drift off after a feed, relaxed, content, and milk drunk. There’s absolutely no need for eat, play, sleep schedules that ask you to ignore your little one’s cues in an attempt to separate feeding and sleep.

2.       Nursing to sleep is calming for your little one. The act of sucking releases relaxing, sleep supportive hormones in your little one. Nighttime human milk also contains hormones that support sleep. Snuggled up next to your heart, feeling your skin makes feeding to sleep a multisensory experience. It’s no wonder that this is a peaceful way for many tired babies and toddlers to fall asleep.

3.       There is a correlation between feeding to sleep and more night waking, but it isn’t a simple causal relationship. Many parents feed to sleep because it’s the easiest way to get rest with a frequent waker. Many babies wake a lot without feeding to sleep. Many babies and toddlers feed to sleep but sleep for long stretches. It is a complex relationship and feeding to sleep is not a clear predictor of your child’s waking patterns.

4.       It’s normal for older babies and toddlers to feed to sleep. Nursing to sleep, or bottle feeding to sleep, isn’t something only reserved for young babies. Night feeds are normal and common in the first 18 months and beyond, meaning many parents feed around sleep times and nighttime awakenings. Feeding to sleep is often the most restful and easiest way to manage nighttime feeds and support your little one to sleep.

5.       Many parents love those sleepy, nursing to sleep moments. Somewhere in the pressure of modern life we forget that these quiet, connected moments matter. If you love nursing to sleep that’s all that matters. None of the science, research, or opinions of other people matter. If it works for you and your little one, then that’s all that matters.

6.       Nursing to sleep now does not mean you’ll have to do it forever. I feel like this should go without saying, but I know it does need to be said. If it stops working for you, you can change it. Making the choice to feed to sleep now is just about what works now. If it stops working or you want to change it, you can.

7.       Nursing to sleep does not mean that you are the only one who can support your little one to sleep. Many nursing babies and toddlers fall asleep well with other caregivers. Maybe they bottle feed to sleep. Maybe they rock to sleep. There are so many ways that care givers can support a nursing child to sleep even when that child always nurses to sleep with their nursing parent. It can take some intentional support if this isn’t happening organically, but it is possible.

8.       Your little one will stop nursing to sleep at some point, even if you don’t help them do so. All children stop feeding to sleep at some point even if parents don’t intervene in the process. Continuing to feed to sleep doesn’t inhibit their sleep maturation or their ability to fall asleep on their own.

What’s the take-away?

Nursing to sleep is a healthy sleep habit. The belief that it is not came from opinion not science. Feeding to sleep is normal, common, and healthy. If you want to feed to sleep do so with confidence. If you think it’s time to change things, that’s ok too.

And if you need support along the process, reach out. I can help you.