Bedtime battles and fighting sleep: what to do when bedtime is a struggle
Is bedtime a struggle in your house?
Do you long for a short and sweet bedtime that leaves you time for yourself after the kids are in bed?
Do you end up frustrated and even more exhausted instead?
Bedtime is hard. Most of us aren’t at our best at the end of the day. You are tired, probably still have a million things you want to do, and just want some personal space. Your child is tired, maybe overstimulated, and wants nothing more than to stay close to you. Or perhaps you have a child with a major case of FOMO, fear of missing out!
The first thing anyone tells you to do to improve sleep and bedtime is to create a bedtime routine. Whether you have one already, or haven’t tackled that sleep strategy yet, here are a few things to think about that may help your bedtime go more smoothly. So many factors influence bedtime that your situation may need a deeper look, but hopefully these ideas will give you a starting place.
Try these 3 things before even beginning your bedtime routine.
Try having some intentional, quality connection time with your child. Help them feel really connected to you through play, snuggles, books, or any other quality family activity.
Try some high energy play early in the evening. Sometimes our kids need one last chance to get their energy out. High energy play can be a great way to connect as well. Some examples include Family dance parties, rough housing, and silly play that gets everyone laughing.
Dim lights and turn off all screens at least an hour before you want your child to fall asleep. The blue wavelengths in both white artificial lights and screens suppress melatonin production, a hormone essential to our circadian rhythms. Dim lights and warmer colored yellow and red lights all help the body physiologically prepare for sleep.
During your bedtime routine:
Make sure your routine is actually calming and relaxing for your little one. It’s not just about going through the motions recommended in a book. The activities need to be calming for your child. If they aren’t, consider moving them to earlier in the evening.
Be mindful of your own emotional state moving through your child’s bedtime routine. If you are calm and emotionally present, your child will pick up on that energy. If you are stressed and focused only on what you still have to do, your child will pick up on that energy. Take some deep, centering breaths before beginning your routine. If bedtime is a struggle or you have a stressful day, have some self-regulation tools in your mind ready for those frustrating moments so that you can stay calm.
Make sure your bedtime works for your child and your family. Contrary to popular belief, what is considered an ideal bedtime is very cultural. The best bedtime for your child depends on a lot of factors. If you think your bedtime may not be right, try experimenting with a bit earlier or a bit later.
If you want more help changing bedtime from a struggle to a time of connection, let’s talk about how I can help you holistically look at your families routines and patterns to set you up for success! Schedule a free, family sleep intro call for us to talk
https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/getting-started