Sleep is hard in the baby and toddler years for a lot of families. It’s hard because it is actually hard. Beyond that, societal expectations of both parent productivity and baby sleep make it even harder. So often what parents hear is your baby must sleep like X and you must do Y, and definitely don’t do Z or else… By creating a very narrow view of what good sleep looks like, and exactly how a parent is supposed to get there, we create a lot of stress for parents.

In this blog post, I’m highlighting 5 simple strategies that will make sleep easier.

If every new parent knew these concepts right down to their sole, parenting to sleep would be a lot less stressful!

• 1. Do what works.

  There’s so much pressure to change how your baby falls asleep or avoid certain behaviors, but you don’t need to change what’s working for you. It’s developmentally normal to need support to fall asleep. Whether it’s feeding, motion, or snuggles, it’s ok to do what works. These are biologically normal ways to fall asleep. Touch, rhythmic movement, sucking, feeding – these all help your baby relax and feel safe, allowing sleep to unfold. There’s no need to be afraid of bad habits or getting in the way of sleep development. This is exactly where your baby is supposed to be, falling asleep safe and nurtured with your support.

• 2. If something isn’t working, change it.

  If a tool stops working, that’s a great time to consider a change. It could be that the tool is no longer working for you, and you are beginning to resent it. It could be that the tool is no longer working for your baby in the way it previously did. When things aren’t working, it’s a sign to make some gentle changes. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong, or the tool was wrong, it simply means your baby is changing and your parenting to sleep tools need to adjust. There are lots of gentle, responsive strategies to navigate change while respecting your baby’s need for closeness and connection.

• 3. Nothing you do now will undermine sleep in the long term.

  There’s so much fear-based messaging around sleep, and this messaging is based on opinion, not fact. We are pushed to focus on worst case scenarios and catastrophize about the future. However, there isn’t a window in which you need to make changes. Leaning into what works now doesn’t guarantee any particular sleep outcome later. Making changes earlier doesn’t guarantee those changes will hold over time. You can always step in and change something, and in fact, it’s often easier to make changes with older babies and toddlers.

  The things you need to do to support a healthy relationship with sleep have to do with understanding your baby’s sleep needs, creating good rhythms and routines, and helping them feel relaxed, safe, and secure headed into sleep.

• 4. Meet your own needs alongside baby’s.

  Parenting is intense, and it’s important to prioritize your own needs right along side baby’s. This doesn’t mean ignoring your baby’s needs to meet yours, but simply that we need to address both at the same time. It’s common to think something along the lines of I’ll prioritize my needs once baby is sleeping better, but you miss a valuable opportunity to improve your sleep quality and well-being by waiting for your baby to sleep in some arbitrary “better” pattern. You can support both your and your baby’s sleep at the same time. They are not in conflict when you think outside the box and build support systems.

• 5. Be selective where you get your sleep info and support.

  There’s so much conflicting information on sleep on google, social media, and even coming from friends and family. Much of that information is based on outdated ideas and cultural belief, not biological norms. If something makes you doubt yourself or feel like you are doing it wrong or failing, ignore it. If you know you want a responsive, gentle approach, only ask for sleep suggestions in places where that is the type of advice you’ll be given.
  
  One of the best things you can do for your confidence and well-being is to be selective on who you get your sleep and parenting information from once you know what kind of support and parenting resonates with you. So, unfollow accounts that stress you out. Choose not to talk about sleep with people who make you doubt yourself. Everyone isn’t entitled to know all of your sleep details and you aren’t required to listen to their advice.

I hope these concepts help you ditch some of the overwhelm and stress that makes sleep harder than it needs to be. If you want more support, reach out and let’s talk about my online program and 1:1 support packages.