Do you struggle with transfers? If so, I bet you know this scene well…

You’ve finally gotten your baby asleep in your arms. Success! Now if you can just put them down. The second you start to move them to their crib or bassinette, their eyes pop open and they start to cry. Back to square one! What to do?

This is such a common struggle. And I want to first assure you that you aren’t doing anything wrong or creating any bad sleep habits. It can be difficult to transfer a baby from arms to their own sleep surface, and some babies struggle with this more than others. It’s normal for a baby to sleep better in contact with you than separately. This is an adaptive, evolutionary hardwired trait, and not something to worry about. Young babies especially need the closeness and regulation that your arms provide.

 Tips for Successfully Transferring a Sleeping Baby

However, sometimes you want or need to put baby down. Since we don’t live in a society where there are always extra pairs of loving arms around to hold baby as much as they need, here are some things to try that will increase the likelihood of a successful transfer.

• Wait until deep sleep. Signs to look for are slow even breaths and a baby completely relaxed. The rag doll arm test is a great way to check. Lift baby’s arm – resistance means light sleep and floppy means deep sleep. For very young babies, this may mean waiting 20-25 minutes through the first half of their sleep cycle.

• Move slowly. If you think you are moving slowly, move even more slowly.

• Try lowering baby in one of these 2 ways: Lower them so that their side touches the surface first and then gently roll to their back or lower them so that their lower half of their body (butt and legs) touch the surface first then lower the upper half of their body. Both options make it less likely that they will startle as you lower them. If you think about it, transfers feel very like falling to a baby, and that is a scary thing.

• Once baby is down, place a hand on their tummy or chest and snuggle the other around their head. This helps them feel your touch and closeness as they relax into the new space. Hold they’re for a minute while they settle.

• Try bringing your scent into the sleep space by either sleeping with the crib sheet for a night or placing a shirt you’ve worn and smells like you in the crib/bassinette for a while before putting baby down. Make sure to remove the shirt before getting baby settled.

• If it’s winter and cold, consider warming the sheet with a hot water bottle or heating pad on low. Take either out before baby goes down and make sure to check the temperature of the sheet so that it’s slightly warmed without being too hot. Going from warm parent to warm sheet can make the transition less jarring.

• Pay attention to baby’s cues when timing sleep. A baby who isn’t tired or is dysregulated may not sleep as well and thus not transfer as well.

What to do if you’re still struggling!

Transfers can be tricky. If you are really struggling, consider these ideas:

• Try at the easiest nap or just at bedtime. Trying to transfer over and over again for all sleeps can be very stressful and frustrating.

• Try using babywearing to keep baby close but have the ability to move around.

• Try a floor bed, where you can get up and move while baby remains in place. Note that floor beds require extra attention to safety. More about floor beds.

• Try bedsharing and rest or sleep with baby. Make sure to follow safe bedsharing guidelines. More bedsharing resources.

• Practice radical acceptance. Baby will get to a place where they can sleep more independently on their own timeline. Just because it won’t happen now, doesn’t mean they will never get there.

If you still need help, I’m always here to support. Use the link below to schedule your free consult, and we’ll get started!